Sunday, February 20, 2011

Stranded On A Desert Island With A Cell Phone

A: yo, you there?

B: wassup?

A: i’m on an island.

B: wtf man, where are you? you need to be here right now.

A: i’m on an island.

B: no, seriously.

A: i am serious. the plane crashed.

B: dude, you need to be here right NOW. TWINS.

A: baseball? this isn’t the time for that.

B: haha. not minn twins, idiot. i’m at amanda’s party and her roommate has her sister over and theyre TWINS.

A: that’s cool, I’m stranded on a fucking island.

B: i call the blonde one. her tits are AH-MAZING.

A: hey, could you shutup for a second and call my mom and tell her where I am?? she isn’t picking up her phone…

B: ahahah. yeah, sure, if i knew where u were…

A: i’m on an island.

B: like a metaphorical island? i told you to stop reading kierkegaard.

A: no, like an actual motherfucking island.

B: kewl.

A: shutup, i’m serious. I need helpppp!!!

B: you know whats gonna suck for you?

A: what?

B: when you run out of battery. i mean, seriously, that will SUCK.

A: funny, find my mom.

B: wait… if you run out of battery, i’m not going to be able to tell you about banging amanda’s roommates twin sister. shit.

A: i wouldn’t want to hear about that even if I wasn’t stranded on an island.

B: yeah, because your so devoted to Stephanie....

A: screw you.

B: she broke up with you, time to fuck other bitches.

A: we’re taking a break, it’s not breaking up.

B: taking a break, breaking up, same dif.

A: no, its not the same. so just shutup and call my mother.

B: steph basically told Amanda she’s sleeping with kyle.

A: who’s kyle?

B: he’s a senior. financial accounting. lol.

A: that asshole? fuckkk.

B: ANYWAY… you could be banging a TWIN right now. fyi.

A: but instead i’m on an island… FML

B: fml indeed, my friend.

A: hey, how do you eat a coconut?

B: crack it open with a machete.

A: i dont have a machete.

B: i guess ur fucked then.

A: i guess so…

B: so seriously, where are you? lol.

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